Water is life. Unless you’re a cell phone in a swimsuit pocket.
In the middle of our vacation, I suddenly found myself disconnected from everything. Even the group WhatsApp chat with everyone on the trip. Time slowed down when I couldn’t check constantly. Plans suddenly became much looser and more vague. “Later” became an actual measurement. It took me getting past my lack of connectivity to realize this is why and how vacation should be.
Accepting his lifetime achievement award from the AG Bell Foundation, Billionaire Bill Austin said “I’m not that important, but don’t feel bad for me, because neither are you. We’re all in this together.” That can be a hard lesson to take, but he’s right. Especially when it comes to self care. Partially because we are go getters, and partially because we are constantly connected, we too often worry about taking time away. What will we miss? We need to know whats happening and make sure we can weigh in. There are deadlines and meetings and emails we have to respond to.
In August we took an 11 night trip to Mexico with two groups of friends. Our first group at the front end of the trip was 12 people deep, and our second group, at the tail end, was five people strong. It was a pampered trip to a beautiful all inclusive resort and spa, with multiple restaurants, swim up bars and plenty of options for entertainment.
We had two groups come with us because people generally only felt like they could take 3 to 5 days off at a time. We were there for the duration. We scheduled work days in the middle, between the two groups, thinking it was 'ok' because we could have lunch on the beach, or take video calls by the pool. Half the calls we had scheduled ghosted because “hey, its August,” and they were on vacation too! One of our friends went back after her 4 days off and found herself alone in her office for the next 3 days wondering why she was back. Another friend was waiting on graphics and work orders to sign off on and came back after 5 days off to no emails despite leaving his phone at home and completely unplugging for his trip.
A week after returning, our world was still spinning. The various institutions where we work, live on. A couple people realized we were out of the office, and they were glad we got away. The hard truth is we’re just not as important as we think we are. It isn’t vanity that makes us feel that way, but the constant connectedness. It’s the dopamine dump from that email alert, the overscheduled nature of our lives that makes us feel like we need to be there. To check email. To jump on that conference call. That's work. It is not life.
Work will be there. The to do list never actually ends. Vacation? Vacation ends. So make sure you take it (if you have it, when you can, even if its just a three day trip no further than sofa city). And enjoy it while you’re on it. Let the office go. Turn the email off on your phone. Leave the laptop at home. Be, don’t do. Take a breath - hell take 100. Take a walk. Stare at the moon through the trees. Connect with your family, your friends, the cool Brits at the swim-up bar, or more importantly, your own thoughts. We don’t do any of that enough. That time, those moments, are what make the work worth it in the first place.
The other thing to remember, is that when you’re a mid career professional (aka not 23) and at a beautiful all inclusive resort in the hot hot sun, for days at a time, it’s only acceptable/smart/healthy to double fist if that second hand is holding water. And the ice in your frozen margarita doesn’t count. In those conditions, water (like air conditioning), is life.
